For years I was a mess, and I even thought I was doing good. I was obsessed with pride and the image of being considered a badass. Now I am able to look back on that boy and see he was lost, scared, and consumed by trauma.

One day I came to a realization after someone very close to me passed. They were a good person. I remember screaming at the sky and pleading to God, "Why them? Why not me?" I was angry, hurt, and confused. What did they do to deserve this?

After a long night of drinking, I woke up the next day with a pain that I hoped I’d drunk away. This was important, my friend. The realization. The realization that these traumas and pains were buried deep inside me.

For the first time, I could admit I was hurt and that the negativity had affected me. I had to kill my pride. I had to slay the beast within me to build the man God intended me to be.

We as men were never called to stay broken. We’re called to lead, to protect, and to carry weight that others can’t. Bettering ourselves isn’t about ego. It’s about becoming strong enough in body, mind, and spirit to stand in the gap for our families, our brothers, and our faith. When we heal, we break generational cycles. When we grow, we become dangerous to the enemy’s plans. God doesn’t need perfect men. He needs willing ones who refuse to stay average.